Jonathan, 28
When I Found Out:
Sadly, five days after my 27th birthday. The insurance company for whom I was applying said they needed a test result.
What I've learned from living with HIV:
People view others who have HIV with this horrible notion that we somehow were unaware or ignorant of the fact that we could get HIV. They also look at us as if we committed a crime - that we knew better and should have used protection. The sad reality is, many people don't use condoms because I'm sure they think, "It won't happen to me." The only other metaphor I can think of is, "Don't cast a stone in a glass house."
What I think is the biggest difference between people's perceptions and the reality of living with HIV:
I think people perceive HIV as a death sentence. However, the reality is, living with HIV is totally do-able. People think we are some sort of sexual deviants and we are more than happy to spread this virus. It's a real shame that I have to be ashamed for having HIV, but this is where I have decided to change, that I must stand up and work towards educating people that HIV isn't just a gay thing, and it is everywhere - it's just that the spot light has only been focused on the homosexual community for so long.
Who I thought HIV affected before I learned I was positive:
Before I was positive, I already knew that gay men were of high risk. But what I suggest is that straight people should be tested and there should be a spotlight not on just gay men, but on heterosexuals as well. That's the problem; there is too much emphasis on gay men and HIV and not enough on heterosexuals and HIV.
What I want someone who is HIV negative to know about me:
Well, the typical answer would be to view me as a normal person; but the reality is, when you have HIV you aren't normal because society has almost forced us to be deviants. I want someone to know that I'm still who I am before I found out that I contracted HIV; a loyal boyfriend, a sincere colleague, an honest man, and a fabulous advisor on men.
What I want to tell young people who say HIV can't happen to them:
Young people who think that HIV will not reach them are just being young. I used to think it wouldn't happen to me. I knew of the danger, and I accepted it as a risk every time I engaged in unprotected sex. If you are aware of the danger and you want to play unsafe, then accept the reality that when you become infected, you can't hold anyone else responsible but yourself. You can't blame anyone for your own actions. Safe sex is preached time and time again, but just like boring topics like algebra, it goes in one ear and out the other. I'm not sure telling people to use condoms is the best method. Telling them that getting HIV can be prevented and that if they choose to do it without condoms, then the risk falls on them.
